It’s Going To Be Okay
I never remember crying much when I had to go to kindergarten. I do remember hiding from my mom one day because I did not want to go, and I remember being scared of a teacher who would yell. But other than that, I do not remember my kindergarten year being one filled with tears. However, I recently found out that there are many children who struggle when starting kindergarten. Their crying and anxiety can last for months and then one day it just stops. Anyone who has ever taught kindergarten has seen this. Perhaps you do not teach kindergarten but you were a “crier”, or you had or have a child that had trouble starting kindergarten. If you have experienced any of these, then you know what I am talking about.
I thought that most kindergarten students cry on the first day and maybe into the first week, but after that they are okay. Since I have been student teaching in a kindergarten classroom, I have found out that I am wrong. The crying for many goes way past the first week and can last for months. At first I was sympathetic towards the children because I understand how scary it must be for a young child to leave their comfort zone and go into a big school with big people. I would coddle them and spend extra time assuring them that it would be okay. I would talk to them about what was wrong in order to help assure them they were safe. But the day came when I realized I had to stop. I began to realize that it would only make them cry more and I noticed that it was a security to them. The more they cried, the better they felt and the safer they felt. The more I sympathized, the more they cried. I could look at them at lunch or in class and they would just start crying. In the back of their mind they were probably thinking, “She’s going to call my mom.” So I stopped the sympathizing. Now you may think I am a "meanie", but that is not true. I make sure that I smile at them and I make sure that they have a fun day, but there is no more talking about what is wrong and coddling them because they are crying. I stopped because I realized that it was not helping them move forward, but it was helping them to dwell where they were. The main reason that I stopped is because I know that it is going to be okay.
The reality is they have to go through kindergarten. From the child’s point of view it is a sad long day. There is one child who will count down how many things we have left until the day is over. I thought of how easy it is for me to look at the crying children and say, “You need to stop crying, it’s going to be okay.” They probably think that I am uncaring and I never think of them, but I know that they are safe at our school. I know that they are safe in our classroom and that with all the power in me, I will keep these children safe and make sure that they have fun. I have also experienced being in kindergarten and I survived. I know from experience that it’s going to be okay.
This experience reminds me of how I feel when I am walking in the valley of darkness. At first God coddles me and reassures me every second that it is going to be okay, but then suddenly it seems that I experience silence. There have been days that I count down the hours left in the day because I cannot wait to get to bed. I think maybe tomorrow will be better. Things do not change and God does not shout anything to me, so I cry hoping that God will sympathize and deliver me from my difficult situation. It seems that God is not listening. And, simply confessing the truth, there have been days I felt as if He did not care. If it was not for His word, I would have no clue what to do or where to go. Every now and then He gives me a smile and perhaps a pat on the back, but eventually He pulls a way a bit. Why? Because He is growing me in character and in Faith and He knows that it is going to be okay. He knows that I am safe with Him and he will do whatever to keep me safe. He sees the bigger picture; I do not. Just as I see the bigger picture at school, but my crying kindergarten students do not. Eventually, as I release my hold on them and they see that they are safe, something happens. They grow and there are no more tears. It is the same way with us. Each trial is difficult, but the more we go through them, the more God proves Himself faithful, and the more we find it is easier to just keep walking. Eventually the tears are gone. Growing up is a part of life. For the child of God, growing in faith is a part of life. It is a must. It is a painful process, but it is required. Then all of a sudden, we look back one day and see it was not so bad after all.
For every growing Christian there will come a day when God will bring you into a dark valley and all you experience is silence. However, He is not completely silent because His word is still living. You can always be assured that it is going to be okay. His word tells me in Joshua 1:5, I will never leave you nor forsake you. He tells me in Genesis 28:15 that I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. His word tells me that He has a plan for my life in Jeremiah 29:11. I know that it is going to be okay because He tells me in Romans 8:28 that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For the child of God you can always remember one thing: whatever you are going through today, it is going to be okay.
I never remember crying much when I had to go to kindergarten. I do remember hiding from my mom one day because I did not want to go, and I remember being scared of a teacher who would yell. But other than that, I do not remember my kindergarten year being one filled with tears. However, I recently found out that there are many children who struggle when starting kindergarten. Their crying and anxiety can last for months and then one day it just stops. Anyone who has ever taught kindergarten has seen this. Perhaps you do not teach kindergarten but you were a “crier”, or you had or have a child that had trouble starting kindergarten. If you have experienced any of these, then you know what I am talking about.
I thought that most kindergarten students cry on the first day and maybe into the first week, but after that they are okay. Since I have been student teaching in a kindergarten classroom, I have found out that I am wrong. The crying for many goes way past the first week and can last for months. At first I was sympathetic towards the children because I understand how scary it must be for a young child to leave their comfort zone and go into a big school with big people. I would coddle them and spend extra time assuring them that it would be okay. I would talk to them about what was wrong in order to help assure them they were safe. But the day came when I realized I had to stop. I began to realize that it would only make them cry more and I noticed that it was a security to them. The more they cried, the better they felt and the safer they felt. The more I sympathized, the more they cried. I could look at them at lunch or in class and they would just start crying. In the back of their mind they were probably thinking, “She’s going to call my mom.” So I stopped the sympathizing. Now you may think I am a "meanie", but that is not true. I make sure that I smile at them and I make sure that they have a fun day, but there is no more talking about what is wrong and coddling them because they are crying. I stopped because I realized that it was not helping them move forward, but it was helping them to dwell where they were. The main reason that I stopped is because I know that it is going to be okay.
The reality is they have to go through kindergarten. From the child’s point of view it is a sad long day. There is one child who will count down how many things we have left until the day is over. I thought of how easy it is for me to look at the crying children and say, “You need to stop crying, it’s going to be okay.” They probably think that I am uncaring and I never think of them, but I know that they are safe at our school. I know that they are safe in our classroom and that with all the power in me, I will keep these children safe and make sure that they have fun. I have also experienced being in kindergarten and I survived. I know from experience that it’s going to be okay.
This experience reminds me of how I feel when I am walking in the valley of darkness. At first God coddles me and reassures me every second that it is going to be okay, but then suddenly it seems that I experience silence. There have been days that I count down the hours left in the day because I cannot wait to get to bed. I think maybe tomorrow will be better. Things do not change and God does not shout anything to me, so I cry hoping that God will sympathize and deliver me from my difficult situation. It seems that God is not listening. And, simply confessing the truth, there have been days I felt as if He did not care. If it was not for His word, I would have no clue what to do or where to go. Every now and then He gives me a smile and perhaps a pat on the back, but eventually He pulls a way a bit. Why? Because He is growing me in character and in Faith and He knows that it is going to be okay. He knows that I am safe with Him and he will do whatever to keep me safe. He sees the bigger picture; I do not. Just as I see the bigger picture at school, but my crying kindergarten students do not. Eventually, as I release my hold on them and they see that they are safe, something happens. They grow and there are no more tears. It is the same way with us. Each trial is difficult, but the more we go through them, the more God proves Himself faithful, and the more we find it is easier to just keep walking. Eventually the tears are gone. Growing up is a part of life. For the child of God, growing in faith is a part of life. It is a must. It is a painful process, but it is required. Then all of a sudden, we look back one day and see it was not so bad after all.
For every growing Christian there will come a day when God will bring you into a dark valley and all you experience is silence. However, He is not completely silent because His word is still living. You can always be assured that it is going to be okay. His word tells me in Joshua 1:5, I will never leave you nor forsake you. He tells me in Genesis 28:15 that I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. His word tells me that He has a plan for my life in Jeremiah 29:11. I know that it is going to be okay because He tells me in Romans 8:28 that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For the child of God you can always remember one thing: whatever you are going through today, it is going to be okay.
1 comment:
Awesome to see you writing again. :-)
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